Do You Have Perfection Stress About Your Looks?

Do You Have Perfection Stress About Your Looks?

© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM. World Rights Reserved.

Many people have perfection stress when they look at themselves. They think split facesomething about their appearance is distracting or unacceptable to others. Some have been stressed by ideas of how less-than-perfect they look since childhood. As a stress management expert, I see this kind of self-shaming as one of the huge stressors making people tired and holding them back.

At a world-famous spa one day, I noticed a woman whose feet looked almost identical to mine. Being deeply convinced that I have adorable feet and toes, I was musing at how lucky this woman was to also have wonderful, attractive feet. As we struck up a conversation by the Jacuzzi, the woman mused to me about her ugly toes. She had felt shame about them all her life! When I told her I thought they were gorgeous, she was stunned. I hope her perfection stress shifted after that.

And how about the phenomenon of faces being longer on one side than the other? Are you feeling bad about your face being uneven? Life magazine once did a special issue, showing what people would look like with if their left face was mirrored on the right, and vice versa: very different! They proved to all who saw the feature that faces are naturally uneven. Now stare at famous actors and actresses. And guess what? Some of them are getting paid millions per year, with faces far more uneven than yours. The cameras simply shoot from complimentary angles.

eye of beholderDo you hate your legs? Leg shapes don’t matter. Mark Harmon of NCIS has a very bent leg, which doesn’t keep him from starring in the top drama on television. Waistlines don’t matter. James Corden and Melissa McCarthy are just two of the many popular and highly paid comedians and actors who are nonskinny.

Have you ever seen someone who was widely regarded as glamorous, perhaps even a model, and to you, the person wasn’t even attractive? Years ago, one experience firmly convinced me that we all have different perceptions of beauty. I saw a fashion magazine spread featuring five women they called both beautiful and powerful. These women were well-groomed and made high salaries, but two of the five looked ugly to me.

Wait! If we each have our own sense of beauty, how can you groom yourself, even with the help of a plastic surgeon, so that you are seen by everyone as gorgeous? Surprise: You can’t! What you can do is: make sure you have great skin and a glowing smile, that you groom your hair/face/body in ways flattering to you, and that you let your inner light beam charmingly through. Over the longer term, you can figure out what your ideal fitness and weight are, and you can craft the ideal diet and exercise program for your unique body. Do these things, and people will want to be around you, make referrals, give you that job or contract, or even ask you to marry them.

The Bible advises us to “Let your light shine before others.” (Matthew 5:16) The more your light shines, the more it glorifies God. Whatever flaw you think you have, maybe it’s actually perfect now. Challenge your sense of imperfection. Let your light shine: it’s always the season.

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert and author of the award-winning Kebba booksbook, Discover the Secret Energized You, as well as the 2013 book, Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition
. Her newest book, Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, is available through her office. Just email for more info. Like this article? Buy Kebba’s books by clicking the links! Reach the writer at

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1 Response to Do You Have Perfection Stress About Your Looks?

  1. Wow, Kebba, I felt you wrote that just for me! I have every one of those stressors you describe, because I hate just about every part of my body. I’ll work on finding my “unique body,” as you suggest. Thanks!


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